Darcy's Journal: November 2019

Dear Darcy,

(Some dates and details are approximate, as I am writing this more than 1 year later.)

November 2, 2019:

Recap from October:

David, you and I went down to see Bum. Nanna still has no power.

When I got home I had to finish Governing Board minutes for the next day. I finished at 1:00 am.

Sunday November 3, 2019:

I guess I left those pumpkin seeds a little too long before roasting them...

Back down to the Vic.

This time instead of paying $24 parking we found street parking with less than a 10 minute walk to the hospital.

No new developments. Bum was in relativiely good spirits, all things considered. He's trying to eat, but has little appetite.

Tonight Daddy made shepherd's pie for supper, so I saved some to bring to Bum.

Monday Novemeber 4, 2019: I had to work today. (I cancelled two sub assignements on Oct 31 and Nov 1). Nanna still has no power!

Nanna and I made hot chicken sandwiches and chicken nuggets with french fries for supper. My meeting at 6:00 got cancelled - I was so grateful. Via the Hydro Quebec app we learned that Nanna's power came back around that time, so she headed back home.

Tuesday November 5, 2019: Nanna's power is out AGAIN. This time a truck missed a corner in the highway and took out a pole.

David, Nanna and I went to the Vic to see Bum.

Wednesday November 6, 2019: Back down to the hospital.

Bum was not feeling well today and not in a good mood. A biopsy was done today, but I had to leave before he got back from it. I was attending and volunteering at a school fundraiser at 5:00. It was a chicken dinner and we were all going.

So sweet!

You had Guides after supper, but the meeting got cancelled due to the smell of gas in the school (where your meetings are held). When we got home there were police cars, a fire truck and an ambulance across the street from our house. There had been a car accident. Wow. What a day.

Thursday November 7, 2019: I had a doctor's appointment today so I could not visit Bum.

I hope some of our babies made it to Mexico!

Friday November 8, 2019: Back to the hospital. Specialists came to see Bum today and explained that the tests take some time to get results. They have a partial picture of what is going on, but need the rest of the results to properly interpret it. There was talk of Bum either being transferred to a hospital closer to home or maybe getting outpatient care.

Snow squall!

I left home at 9 am and got home at 7:15 pm. Daddy ordered pizza. I love him.

Saturday November 9, 2019: I wasn't feeling so well today. (Is there any wonder?) We went to see Grandmaman. Daddy put on her winter tires for her. You had a swimming lesson in the afternoon.

Sunday November 10, 2019: You and I walked in the Remembrance Day parade with Girl Guides.

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Monday November 11, 2019: Nanna, David and I to the hospital.

Tuesday November 12, 2019: Work/school

Wednesday November 13, 2019: Back to the hospital. A physical therapist was working with him, teaching him how to properly use a walker. Bum was sent for chest x-rays and an ECG. His RBC (red blood cells) were enlarged which could be due to anemia, a vitamin B12 deficiency or other.

Bum has a mass in his abdomen iin his chest (this is partly to blame for his voice being hoarse, it presses on a nerve), but they have not determined what kind of cancer nor what stage. The enlarged RBC will post-pone treatment anyway, so they want the full picture of the situation in order to take the correct course of action. Bum needs to focus on rebuilding strength (eating and moving) in order to be strong enough for treatment.

Thursday November 14, 2019: I was sick, so did not visit Bum. I called him, took his meal preferences and phoned them in, as I do every day.

Cam started his first real job! He's a baker at Tim Hortons.

Friday November 15, 2019: Ped day for you and I was sick. Movie day.

This causes me heart palpitations now!

Movies and rest. (Except it was the first one, not the sequel).

We also watched The Christmas Project and loved it!

Thursday and Mommy.

Sunday November 17, 2019: To hospital.

I am sick so I have to wear a mask.

(Edit Jan 2021: Who knew then that wearing a mask would become normal!)

Monday November 18, 2019: Bum has stage 4 lung cancer.

Tuesday November 19, 2019: Doctors appointments for Mommy and Daddy. Doctor says I am still sick because I picked up something at the hospital.

View from cottage porch. I forget why I was up there.

Wednesday November 20, 2019: Work/school.

The doctor called. She said Bum is too weak for treatment, but he could be transferred closer to home for palliative care.

This would make it possible for people to visit him. It is awful news, but also a relief to think that he would be closer to home. The Vic is an hour drive each way, if there's no weather nor any traffic. It sometimes takes 2-3 hours one way. Having him closer to home, say 20 minutes away, would make such a big difference. Nanna would be able to drive herself, for example. I could stop in and see him after work. We could make his final months the best we possibly can.

Trying to have some semblance of normalcy for you and Cam, at least.

Thursday November 21, 2019: Back to the hospital. Bum has a tear in his throat, making speach and swallowing difficult, he now has a modified his diet to accomate this. Poor Bum. He loved food and now he can't eat.

Just a pic of the beautiful sky before leaving in the morning.

Bum fell in the bathroom yesterday. He's Ok. He said 6 (six!) lady nurses came in to take care of him. He smiled a lot telling me about it. I think he was actually quite flattered they fussed so much over him!

There was a family room with a fridge down the hall. I left some homemade food and desserts for Bum in the fridge. I decided to clean out everything today, as he really can't eat them now. There was a purple-ish juice spilled in the fridge, so I thought I would be nice and clean it up. I finally found where it was coming from and it was a package of mussels or something - it was some kind of shellfish which I AM ALLERGIC TO AND NOW HAVE ALL OVER MY HANDS! OMG. There was a sink near the fridge, so I washed, washed, washed my hands. Then I washed all the way up past my elbows and washed my face in case I had touched it. Nothing bad happened. PHEW!!!

Grandmaman fell bringing in her garbage bin. Her foot and ankle are very swollen. Daddy went to look after her.

Friday November 22, 2019: Work/school. I called Bum at lunch time (as I do every day that I cannot go). It was very hard to hear him today.

Grandmaman can walk today.

Saturday November 23, 2019: Doctors appointments for you and Cam. Swimming lessons in the afternoon.

A nurse called me this evening. She said Bum's phone had been ringing and he couldn't answer it, so she called me in case it was me. I had tried earlier in the day. The nurse said his voice was even quieter and didn't think I would be able to hear him on the phone at all.

Sunday November 24, 2019: Oh dear. I had to have my sweet sweet kitty, Eric, put to sleep today.

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After the vet, Nanna, David and I went down to see Bum. We were shocked when we saw him. Nanna had not seen him for a week, but even just since Thursday there was a big difference. The talk with the nurse last night did not prepare me for this. His voice was virtually inaudible and he was not awake much. The doctors told us this was happening much faster than they anticipated. They expect he has 2-3 days to live. We were expecting to have a few months!

The last time I said "Wow, what a day" was NOTHING compared to today.

Monday November 25, 2019: Work/school.

Daddy drove David, you and me down to see Bum after school. This was the first time Daddy went down to see him and the first time I did not drive down. I slept most of the way there.

Night view from Bum’s room at the hospital. The MUHC Super Hospital is pretty amazing.

The staff of the respiratory department were so caring and respectful.

We got some food from the hospital food court and had supper and just kept Bum company. I think he knew we were all there. I was texting Nanna to keep her informed. Suddenly we decided Nanna needed to be there. We all went home. Nanna met us at the house, then David, Nanna and I went back to the hospital.

We chatted and dozed off here and there as the night wore on. The doctor said it wouldn't be long. We would stay as long as it took.

Tuesday November 26, 2019 Around 2:00 am David and I went to move the car and when we got back, Bum was gone. Nanna and a lovely, kind nurse were by his sides and he just peacefully...went .

We went home an hour or so later.

I was home before you got up for school. I don't remember what went on that day, but I know I was busy. I remember going out to meet the school bus at the end of the day and seeing our neighbor outside. I went to her and told her and she gave me a hug and we cried.

I took you and Katie to the CP Holiday Train that night.

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Wednesday November 27, 2019 I think I worked this day. I remember calling the funeral home from an empty kindergarten classroom at recess or lunch.